Welcome to Really Human

There are over 5000 foster children and teenagers in the Republic of Ireland.  They are a sub-culture that society tries hard to support through a network of adult strangers: foster-carers, social workers, therapists and legal guardians.  They arrive into the system as babies, children or teenagers.  The history in their short lives has seen them severely hurt by the parents who themselves struggle with life and the legacy of their pain.  The social care system in this country is not perfect [ ... ]

  BPD or Insecure Relational Attachment affects between 1 and 2 people in every 100.  40% of adolescents under psychiatric care have this condition.  Its main symptoms are: anxiety, depression, difficulty with intimacy and indecisiveness. Why does a young person experience this condition?  Usually when growing up, their highly sensitive self loses their essential attachment bond with parents.  Very often, the parents are not aware of what’s going on until their teenager explodes or impl [ ... ]

This presentation is regarding people with eating disorders. What is at the root of why somebody becomes obsessive regarding what they eat? The actual behavior comes at the end of what has been a long journey around anxiety, lack of self-worth and the struggle in finding a place in which they can belong. Eating disorders often present during teenage years. The sooner the behavior is noticed and treated the better. Why is this? Of all issues that present in a therapy room, eating disorders is pr [ ... ]

  When we look at how we operate, we look for reasons why.  How much of what I do is beyond my control?  Whether alcohol misuse, schizophrenia, severe anxiety or any mental health issue, we ask if we were programmed from birth because the issue seemed to be in the genetic code of parents or extended family.  I speak to teenagers about the crucial transition when they reach 18.  During their teens, usually around 15 and 16, they seem to go through a phase of reflection. They take a time-o [ ... ]

We regularly struggle with the basics of health: sleep, exercise and diet.  In a way, these bodily behaviours reflect accurately the state of our mind.  If my sleep is restless, my exercise non-existent and my eating and drinking mindless there is a lot of negativity floating around my head.  But let's focus on managing weight. If my 'Healthy' self is conscious of needing to reduce weight but my 'Soothing' self can't live without excess, a conflict begins - firstly in my own head and then  [ ... ]

How do you know if you belong to this tribe, the 1 in 7 of the population? And where might this high sensitivity be traced back to? And, most important, how can I manage high sensitivity.  See how many of the following can you tick.   The Highly Sensitive Child Startles easily Complains about scratchy clothing, seams in socks, or labels against his/her skin Doesn’t usually enjoy big surprises Learns better from a gentle correction than a strong punishment Seems to read adult mind Us [ ... ]

I really understood tribes and their importance when living in North Belfast for 21 years.  My wife and I had lived up to then in the Republic of Ireland where tribes exist but the contact between them was respectful and cordial, the exceptions being immigrants and travellers.  Belfast exposed how deeply and easily we can label, judge and blame the neighbour next door or street.  We had a young couple right behind our house – middle-class, professional and wonderful people.  We had often c [ ... ]

Up to age of eighteen, and sometimes older, how we are seen by others and how we see others is very much influenced by family.  In this presentation, I am focusing on siblings and reflecting on their impact on a child and teenager.  If I’m an only child or the middle child of 10, the twin or the adopted /fostered additional child – each personal experience is so varied and random.  How significant are sisters and brothers for the young adult emerging and making sense of reality after 18 y [ ... ]