Blog 6: The Moods that affects our Lives

Written by Jim Sheehy

Hi.  My name is Jim Sheehy.  This is reallyhuman.ie and this blog is about The Moods that Affect our Lives.

What do I mean by moods.  Just a very user-friendly way of bunching the way our feeling, thinking and behaving worlds either work smoothly or collide in our daily lives.  The most common are anxiety, rage and depression. 

Look behind anxiety and we see people who feel terrified over issues many of us would consider manageable: relationship, hygiene, intimacy, sexuality and so on.   In their heads, they are besieged and tortured by incessant beliefs and voices that put them down and belittle their gifts, skills and strengths.  Sleep becomes a nightmare and contact with the world a mess.  Family, friends and therapists who care for and support them are stretched to the limit in containing everchanging scenarios.

Rage is endemic in society.  From bullying in school and workplace to domestic violence in families to street-gangs ruling communities, uncontrolled anger is very evident.  Behind rage there is the underlying pain and hurt of experiencing significant loss.  A young client recently said to me as he dithered between continuing therapy or returning to violence and drugs: ‘The world has fucked me over.  Now, it’s my turn to fuck the world over.  I have scores to settle?’  His loss was not having a half-decent family or a school that saw his potential. 

‘Training the Tiger that is Rage’ is very possible for this man but he needs people around him who he absolutely trusts will stay the course.   In this client’s case, his Grandad died, somebody who had always believed in him.  He had been in the army all his working life, and he was given an ‘Officer’s Farewell’, a moving tribute by young soldiers.  Seeing this event so moved my client that he resolved to join the army.  To do that, he began the difficult journey of giving up drugs, hitting the gym, not getting involved with friends in violent acts.  What was wonderful to see was how his leadership persuaded two drug-dependent friends to quit and get fit.

Depression or as I call it ‘Returning to the Cave’ is when we take time out away from the typical world we know and reshape who we are.  The word ‘Crisis’ comes from the Greek term ‘stepping-stone’ and that is what depression can be.  At first, we see only high walls and foggy swamps which is terrifying and hugely frustrating.  After a while in ‘The Cave’, the contours of the walls begin to have an amazing variety of textures and colour, the air is sweeter and the ground solid.  Very often, addicts speak of the ‘empty hole at the pit of my stomach’ and their recovery involves them acknowledging the emptiness and learning to see how the emptiness is both a burden and blessing.  A burden because there are no weekends off in managing the impact of emptiness but recovery leads to meeting amazing fellow-travellers and discovering creative ways to tell their unique story.

I love the work I do in accompanying people, young and old, who recognise their fragility and flaws.  A good therapist needs to continuously process their ‘own stuff’ so they are then empty but well-resourced vessels to hold the hurt and pain of the terrified, enraged and collapsed.

Presentations on the 4 zones are also available on video and podcast through the website – see www.reallyhuman.ie

If you enjoy the material, please get the word out there among those you care for.  You can contact me with comment or suggestion via Facebook at Jim Sheehy Therapy and on Twitter @jimsheehy2017

Take care,


Clarifying Disclaimer:  While the material I am presenting is well-researched and suitable for the general population, I believe each person’s issues and needs are unique.  I encourage you to seek medical and/or therapeutic support if you struggle with an issue or condition that negatively and seriously impacts your life.

Copyright: All material in Jim Sheehy Therapy as presented in video, blog and podcast form is copyright and may only be redistributed with permission of author.

 

 

 

 

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Contact me:

Jim Sheehy M.Ed. MIACP
Leitir
Kilcar
Co Donegal 
F94 WV99

087 2137922

jsheehy@hotmail.co.uk

 

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